A Missing Cutscene
by opEd-girl
Summary: Takes Place in the MGS4 Universe. After Liquid unleashes the Guns of the Patriots and the whole military is in shambles, Johnny Akiba confronts Meryl about what happened between them at the canal. Characters: Meryl, Johnny.


This "cutscene" occurs after Liquid has unleashed the Guns of the Patriots where Johnny had pulled Meryl from the canal and resuscitated her back to life.

If you haven't played the game, you can watch what precedes this fan-fiction on YouTube (Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots Act 3 Part 10 on). It's a really great scene.

10/23/11 - typo fixes.

* * *

It was early, the pre-dawn hours were silent and still, and the horizon had no light caressing its skyline – not from the sun, the moon or even the stars. The US military base had long quieted since the catastrophe that had occurred earlier in the evening. The wounded were taken to the various medical stations, and those that had escaped injury and death were debriefed and sent back to their units to gather themselves before being deployed once again.

A lone light crept from a door ajar in the barrack hallways. The glow cast out the darkness as if to say there was someone left to fight. Inside, a soldier, still in wet fatigues and gear, paced the room. She finally stopped at the closest wall and leaned her arms against its cold brick and mortar facade. Meryl was tired. She was sore. Her lungs hurts. And the effects of losing SOP control were still tangibly sharp.

From the silence of her thoughts, a loud thud was let loose; in her frustration she struck at the solid wall, four knuckles straight. If she hadn't still been wearing gloves the punch would have ripped her hand opened. The pain, sharper than any she could remember, was welcomed; it dulled her thoughts letting her mind be free – if only for a second. As Meryl lifted her arm to strike once more, the sound of the door creaking open could be heard.

In an instant, Meryl swung her arm to the inside of her body, grabbing at the chest holster holding the loaded firearm that was still ID locked. The momentum carried her body full spin, her back now leaning against the wall, gun pointed outward.

"You shouldn't be in here." She exhaled, turning her head to look down as she caught her breath. It seemed that without SOP leveling her emotions, everything was more intense, every sound, every vibration caused a fight or flight response that she was having trouble controlling.

"I just, I just wanted to make sure you had gotten back to your room..." Johnny stuttered, as he tentatively approached her. "...commander." his hand reached up, pressing the barrel of the handgun downward.

It looked as though Johnny had come right from the shower facilities, his hair was slicked back almost dripping, his shirt was damp with water where he hadn't bothered to dry himself off. A droplet travelled from his temple down his sharp jawline where it was caught by the soft stubble he refused to shave.

Meryl tried to resist noticing such things about him, but he was standing so close, it was hard not too.

She didn't want to have the conversation they would eventually have to have; and she didn't want to confirm what had transpired on the canal boardwalk by meeting his unwavering eyes.

They stood there, silent and motionless, standing in each other's space, Johnny desperately waiting to be acknowledged. Meryl desperately trying to avoid the confrontation.

She didn't know why she did it; she didn't know why she had kissed him like that. Lying there on the cold wet ground, water spewing from her lungs, she just reached up and pulled him down, stealing one last breath before coming back into this world. When her eyes had opened, she knew instantly that she had cheated death. The place that Johnny had pulled her from was cold and dark; it was frightening and she was alone in it. Perhaps that's why she had kissed him, to shake the incredible loneliness that death had thrust upon her.

Johnny stepped closer, taking the gun from her hand and placing it back into her chest holster, snapping the closure around the handle with a slow, deliberate motion. "Meryl," He leaned in, determined to get her to look at him. "We were debriefed hours ago, why are you still in your gear?"

Another question she didn't know the answer to. In an attempt to break the standoff, Meryl pulled her gloves off, throwing them to an empty chair. She pulled her arm guards off, throwing them to land with her gloves. She sank her hands into her hips, her jaw jutting out in frustration.

"I don't know." She could feel Johnny encroaching her space, it made it hard for her to breath, like she was trapped in a shrinking cage.

Meryl pressed her hand against his chest, stopping him from moving any closer. "You have to go. Get out of here, Akiba."

She had silently promised stop calling him that, and it would have hurt that she did, except her words were half-hearted, and her push was too gentle. It was strange for Johnny to see her will broken, it made him uncomfortable. He reached up and covered her pressing hand with his own, his heartbeat could be felt pulsing through both.

"Please, just go..."

Slowly being weakened by her own mortal thoughts and the chance to shake the lonliness, Meryl leaned toward Johnny, her cheek glancing against his as if she was getting ready to tell him a secret no one else should hear. The hand on Johnny's chest slid through his embrace making its way to rest where his neck met his shoulder.

Johnny was taken back by the gesture, Meryl had always kept people at a distance, even those who were dearest to her. He pondered that this would be the closest thing to an embrace she would ever let slip. It was never a secret that she hid her feelings to appear strong and capable. There were times, during training, he wondered if the only emotion she would ever show was anger. Those notions were fast disappearing as he felt her damp body press against his.

"Meryl..." Johnny interrupted her, wanting to say how he felt, but the words just wouldn't show themselves.

Meryl was going to whisper to him in a soft voice that would dare defiance that her kiss had no meaning. But somewhere along the way her plan had taken a different turn. As she leaned in, with his soft stubble scratching at her cheek, she could smell the scent of standard issue soap on his skin, it was a musky chalky smell, but it was a reminder of comfort and familiarity. She felt his soft breath on her neck, something indescribably intimate. It was a relief – to be less alone.

Johnny's hands drifted over the utility gear sitting on her chest. It was heavy, wet, and smelled of the murky canal water. In one sweeping motion he unlatched it, letting it slide from her body to the floor.

Meryl pulled herself from the embrace, it felt good to be rid of the heavy gear, but without it she felt exposed. "Stop it." Though she said it sternly, it was an unconvincing lie.

"Kiss me." It wasn't a question.

"What?" She was stunned by his forwardness.

Johnny leaned in, pressing her to the wall, there was nothing left between their bodies but clothing. "Kiss me. I don't know what happened at the canal, it could have been a lot of things, but right now, here, I want you to kiss me for no other reason than because you want to...If you don't, then say so, and I'll leave as if none of it ever happened." He whispered into her ear. He shut his eyes tight, there might not be another time he would ever be so close to her.

Meryl could feel his leg parting hers, his hands grasping at her hips, his breath caressing her ear. She thought about the proposition – as much as you could logically think about such things. She pushed Johnny just far enough to catch a glimpse of his face. Her fingers crept to his cheeks, they felt cold against his face. "I can't..." she whispered, leaning her forehead against his.

There was a brief pause. Johnny started to pull away, preparing himself to forget everything that had transpired.

"...I...I can't tell you to leave." Meryl said it breathlessly, like a sigh of relief, as if she was holding it in all this time.

Slowly, she arched her neck, gently brushing her lips against his. Johnny stood idly, waiting for her tentative decision to become final.

Slowly Meryl let Johnny's upper lip touch her tongue as she turned the soft caress into a real kiss. For no other reason than because she wanted to, she kissed Johnny. It took all of her will power to let it happen, to give in to what she really felt for him, even if she could never say it out loud.

As Johnny felt her mouth grasp at his, he returned her gestures. There was a gentleness about the way she kissed him. Somehow he had always imagined she would be more forceful.

Meryl could barely feel Johnny's hands drifting across her body. The sneaking suit she wore was designed to dampen sensitivity to combat. "This damn suit..." She breathed her words through their kisses as she began reaching to unzip it.

Johnny reached behind her, fumbling through Meryl's hands, unzipping the tight fitting suit, pulling it forward, letting her shoulders and arms come loose. Revealed was a damp tank top, clinging and twisted against Meryl's body. Her musculature was more defined than the suit ever let on. Distinct shadows ran along her clavicles, her shoulders were broad and pulled away from her biceps. Her body definition was only a result of being strong enough to do her job as a soldier, it was nothing more to Johnny; it didn't seem weird or brutish, to him, it was just her body.

Johnny let the shirt drop to the floor as his hand cupped Meryl's elbow, letting it slowly travel up the lines of her shoulder, finally resting behind her neck. Johnny hadn't ever seen Meryl so exposed, the curves of her breasts, the way the tank top revealed the outline of her nipples, it was overwhelming.

It had been a long time since someone had looked at her that way. Being among men in times of war, Meryl had almost forgotten what lust looked like. She leaned back against the wall, tugging at the thin tank top as she let Johnny look her over. Both of them catching their breath from the entangled arms and bodies of a first heated embrace. Johnny wryly smiled at the way she played with her shirt, as if she was trying to make it cover more than it could. There weren't many things Meryl wasn't confident about, Johnny wouldn't have thought she would be so shy about this sort of thing. It seemed there was a lot about Meryl he didn't know.

Like one of the guys, Meryl had her fair share of interesting stories. She could make even the most boorish of men blush when she wanted to. But it all seemed like a charade now. Johnny couldn't see any of the smugness or allure she suggested, he just saw a timid girl leaning against a wall, failing to hide her embarrassment.

"Meryl, I've been wanting to tell you..." Johnny was finally going to say what he had been keeping a secret.

"...Look, I'm pretty tired." Meryl sighed those words, interrupting him.

And like it started, the moment was over just as quickly.

She slowly walked past Johnny, her hand laying a pat on his shoulder as she passed by. It was a brief gesture, but it had intense meaning not lost on him. Meryl stopped at the foot of the bed facing away from Johnny's stare.

Meryl unhooked her belt, and removed the rest of her damp gear revealing a pair of plain panties that matched her tank top. It was an awkward strip tease, not too many Johnny was aware of included a holster and boot knife, but the tentativeness of her movements was endearing.

She glanced over her shoulder. "You've got to be tired too, right?"

Meryl had a strange way of speaking in cloaked words. She started pulling the sheets down and slid underneath them. The standard issue cots were never big to begin with, so it was quite obvious that she had made room for him.

Johnny sighed and walked to the bed. He removed his shirt and undressed down to his boxers. Sliding under the covers, he pressed tightly to her body, his legs intertwining with hers, he traced her arm his with hand, meeting her open fingers. His face nestled in the nape of her neck. As he settled into his embrace he was going to try once more to get the words out.

"Don't say it, ok?" Meryl whispered, weaving her fingers with his, drawing his hand to her chest.

Those four words spoke so much. Johnny knew Meryl was still on her mission, it hadn't ended with the destruction of SOP. There was still so much left to do and she felt more mortal now than she had felt in a long while. Johnny reluctantly let this moment slip into the night, letting Meryl drift to a sleep that was long over due. But he promised himself there would be a time when he would say everything he had been meaning to say, and she would hear it.

Eh, couldn't go lemon, just didn't feel right. I'm not really all that happy with the way this story turned out, i'll probably make another attempt sometime in the future. comments are always welcome.


End file.
